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Your Decisions, Your Destiny

Our lives are shaped by the decisions we continuously make each and every day. How do we know if we are making the best ones?

Every moment of our lives we are faced with a decision that we have to make. Some are so easy we don’t even realize we are making them and some so tough that we take days, months and even years to bring ourselves to come to a decision. Whether it’s picking out our clothes for the day or saying yes to a job offer or taking a plunge to leave your comfortable life behind and move to a new country. Our paths are shaped by each decision we make and sometimes not just our own lives but also the lives of those close to us.

My Story

As a child I had to live the life that was a result of the choices made by those around me. When I was 10 years old my dad decided to divorce my mom and as we all know divorce is never pretty. As a result my mom took the decision to move abroad in order to be able to provide for me and my 2 other siblings and for us to be able to stay in private school. So at a young age in such a short period of time, I did not only lose my dad but also my mom. I was heart broken but I didn’t fully understand what was going on. All I know is that from then on my entire life has changed. I grew up feeling like there’s always something missing. I felt angry at life because I felt that it had been unfair to me. As a result I have made a lot of bad choices along the way. Staying in relationships that was emotionally painfully draining. Having people around me that didn’t show value to our friendship. Taking jobs that I was miserable at. Developed bad habits that did not serve me well. Letting my weaknesses take over me. Whats worse was I continued to let it happen…


At 21 I looked at my life and was not happy with what I saw. I was not a child anymore and I am fully capable of taking control of my own life. I started evaluating myself and realized that I have been making the wrong decisions, even the small wrong decisions created rippling effect that made an impact in my life. From that point on, I made the decision to take over what I can control, which are my decisions and my actions. And let go of the things that was out of my control which are other people’s decisions and other people’s actions.

Better Decisions

Romantic Relationships. When I left the relationship that wasn’t going anywhere, it felt like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulder. I was so scared of losing the familiar for years! But now having been through it, my only regret was, why didn’t I leave sooner? I could’ve done us both a favor. From then on I didn’t let myself go deep into relationships unless our goals were aligned. After a couple of little heart breaks a long the way, in the end I met the love of my life, Tom. I’m so glad I didn’t waste any more time on dead end relationships and that I also didn’t settle for anything less than I deserved because now I am married to the best person that I know and our relationship gets better by the day!

Friendships. I started putting effort only into friendships that reciprocate my efforts and time. It’s not easy finding genuine quality people in Dubai specially when people come and go. But ever since I made the decision, I started looking in the right places. I started recognizing people that I truly connected with and continue to develop my relationships with people who I can grow and create fun memories with.

Jobs. When I decided to go back to the workforce, I had very specific job criteria in mind. In the process of looking for the job, targeting specific companies, going to many interviews, broadening my network in the process and getting offers that unfortunately didn’t meet my criteria. I decided to be more patient and be more proactive. Don’t get me wrong, I had petty moments too but I decided to focus on my achievements instead of my failures, I decided pursue the opportunities that are within reach instead of those that aren’t. And then came a day when I got the call from a company I had submitted my CV to weeks before, went into the interview and started work right after. All the work I had put into my job search was worth it because now I’m looking forward to going to work everyday and not rushing to leave by the end of the day. Not many people get to say that about their jobs.

Habits. From as little as choosing the thoughts I let stay in my head, to choosing to the words that come out of my mouth, to the actions and reactions that I make. All these choices makes a huge difference throughout other parts of my life. I choose to have a morning routine because it keeps me structured and energized throughout the day. I choose to dedicate time to evaluate my daily activities so that I stay productive and on track with my goals. I choose to voice out my opinion on things that I think might be a little heavy but will make a positive impact on my relationships long-term and I choose to shut my mouth in situations where I think what I have to say is smaller than the negative impact that it will make to the person receiving it.

While as a child I didn’t have much control over my life. Taking a second to reflect when I turned 21 and choosing to take control has completely shifted my direction. Currently, my life is on it’s way to what I have envisioned it to be, for myself and those around me. Being mindful about the decisions I make has played a big role in doing so.


Your decisions are much more powerful than you think. Deciding to stay or go. Deciding to speak up or stay quiet. Deciding to do or deciding not to. These decisions help shape up your life into something that you either like or don’t. And like my husband always say, in troubling situations, the worse thing you can do is not make a decision and end up being left stuck with no choice.

I guess what I’ll say is, one way to tell if you’re making the best decision (right or wrong) is to fast forward into the future 3, 5 or 10 years from now — how do you think this decision will affect the future you and the life that you have envisioned for yourself and your family. How do you think you’ll feel looking back from that future into today?

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.” -Gandhi

While small decisions seem harmless, be mindful of what you continuously choose to do. Choose wisely on your beliefs that turn into thoughts because in the end, this will determine your destiny.

Originally posted on Medium back in 2018 – still proving true today.

Written By:

Alessandra Milburn

November 12, 2018